A debt-ridden teacher, desperate to make a little cash, takes an ill-fated trip to the abandoned lakefront property she’s inherited in an attempt to sell it, in Christopher A. Miklos’ eerie but predictable The Headmistress.

Right from the start, we get a very brief but sufficient overview thanks to a phone call from a debtor and a handful of declined credit cards that Mara (Katherine Bellantone) is in a bad financial situation. Fortunately for her, she’s recently inherited an expansive lakefront property in the Midwest from the father she never knew, and takes it upon herself to escort a group of potential buyers to tour it. There’s never any real explanation as to why she’s handling this business herself instead of with an agent, but regardless, she has a group of eager potential clients who are ready to throw down cash and relieve her of her burdens. 

The group consists of several over-exaggerated stereotypes, including misogynistic, homophobic oaf Donovan (Thomas McCarthy), who finds every opportunity to insult everyone in the group with antiquated, over-the-top slurs. You hate him immediately, which is of course the obvious goal of the writers. There’s also Pete (Tom Dacey Carr) and Dex (Hunter O’ Harrow), a couple who own a pizzeria but are looking to switch careers, and Ani (Ayden Skye), and Nikki (DeChantel Kosmatka) both of whom never truly are given enough of a character arc to make you care about them. 

Mara herself has never visited the property, and once they arrive, they discover it’s in much more disrepair than they thought. Nevertheless, they decide to tour the disheveled building and see what it’s worth. It’s not long before your typical horror movie scares begin – strange figures in windows, shadowy movements in dark corners, and characters who mysteriously go missing. That’s when the group decides to (you guessed it) split up to search for the absent member of their party. As they delve deeper into the derelict estate, they begin to uncover its dark history, and the disturbing links between it, Mara, and her late father.

Aesthetically there’s an overall moody, ethereal vibe and tone, and the cinematography offers up plenty of well-crafted shots that incite paranoia. The crux of The Headmistress’s issues, though, stem from its sheer lack of originality and abundance of typical horror movie tropes. It relies far too heavily on jump scares and tricks of the eye, making nearly every frightening moment feel cheapened and foreseeable before they even happen.

We don’t get to spend enough time with any of the characters to know them beyond their basic categories, which again, are overstated. That’s not to say that each actor doesn’t try their best, because the performances from the cast do feel genuine despite their archetypes. Mostly, the bulk of the film is following them as they wander through darkened hallways, screaming and being startled. There is, thankfully, enough of a backstory to make for an intriguing plot line, even though it, too, feels expected and familiar. The makeup and practical effects do pack a punch, and are impressive given the budget, but are unfortunately not seen as much as they deserve to be.

If jump scares and familiar haunted house stories are your thing, The Headmistress will give you plenty to enjoy – just don’t expect much substance beyond that.

6 out of 10

The Headmistress
RATING: NR

 

THE HEADMISTRESS (2023) Official Trailer — (HD)
Runtime: 1 Hr. 30 Mins.
Directed By:
Written By:

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