In a shocking revelation, HorrorBuzz can now confirm that a major SoCal theme park was, at least at one point, in talks with one of the leading names in extreme haunts to produce an extreme maze based off the beloved Troll franchise. Through a series of covert espionage-style surveillance ops, lead by myself, a novice Java programmer, and my cousin Ronny, who swears that he once made an ATM pay out double by whistling at it right, we have managed to acquire an email chain between the two parties in question. We have removed the names to protect the two unrecognizable negotiators anonymous.
Could a maze based on Troll 2 be coming this fall to Fright Fest or Halloween Horror Nights? Dare we dream? Tremble now as we pull back the curtain on the darker side of the haunt industry and take a look at the things that some people don’t want you to take a look at. The names have been redacted to protect the innocent and because we forgot some of the names.
From: [REDACTED]
To: [REDACTED]
December 23rd, 2016
Subject: RE: Maze Proposal
[REDACTED],
Just had a look at your proposal for the Troll 2 maze and [REDACTED] thinks your extreme haunt experience makes you the perfect choice for bringing this cinematic classic to life. We did, however, have a few concerns.
- We love the idea of incorporating the iconic Nilbog milk into your design, and we think it will be a big seller with parched guests, but we aren’t as on board with the whole “using it for simulated drowning” thing. We believe that guests enjoy drinking our beverages more than being submerged in them, but appreciate your creative marketing ideas.
- While I personally found your proposal that during the pre-haunt dinner the actor playing Joshua would get up on the table and urinate on everyone’s food hilarious, the hospitality department won’t allow it.
- All the plans are in place for the climactic ending where guests take on the role of Holly’s good-for-nothing boyfriend Eliot on the run from her vengeful father, but legal has looked into it, and I’m not sure we’re going to be able to draft a waiver that is going to cover when he finds you and “cuts off your little nuts and eats them.”
Looking forward to helping you bring Claudio Fragasso’s timeless vision to life.
Thanks,
[REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
To: [REDACTED]
December 24th, 2016
Subject: RE:RE: Maze Proposal
[REDACTED],
You can do anything with waivers! I’ve got a waiver here that my lawyer says makes me the king of California! You’ve got to stop listening to the haters Remember, it’s all about the groundhogs.
From: [REDACTED]
To: [REDACTED]
December 26th, 2016
Subject: RE:RE:RE: Maze Proposal
[REDACTED],
Yeah, about that. It turns out making a maze based off a Z-grade cult film doesn’t make a lot of financial sense if we only let in 2 people per day and accept groundhog food as payment. We may have to reconsider this arrangement.
Thanks,
[REDACTED]
From: [REDACTED]
To: [REDACTED]
December 27th, 2016
Subject: I don’t think I can work with this man
[REDACTED],
The deal with [REDACTED] isn’t working out, we’re going to have to go with plan B.
From: [REDACTED}
To: {REDACTED]
December 27th, 2016
Subject: RE: I don’t think I can work with this man
What? You mean you want to make the maze based off of Troll? But no one even remembers that movie. Oh, Claudio called and said the maze needed popcorn for some reason? When I asked how much, he said about enough to fill an RV. Do you know anything about this?
Mysteries abound, dear reader, but yet there are still mysteries. Yes many. What is the future between these two titans of terror? If they do end up making the maze about Troll, what role, if any will Sonny Bono’s ghost have in the production? And most importantly, what are they going to do with all that leftover milk once they’re done drowning those folks? That’s going to go bad if they don’t keep it refrigerated. Now that’s a real scare house, just a bunch of rancid milk and sweaty haunt actors. Stay tuned to where you are right now for more on what you’re reading now. Refresh the page if it stops updating for more news.
