(aka The Witches of Dumpling Farm) After being thrown out of his home by his wife for cheating, Mark finds himself back at Dumpling Farm, a place of youthful memories and parties, but things aren’t quite right.

So Mark (Duncan Casey) is in need of a place to stay after his wife kicked him out, and calls an old chum, Ian (Justin Marosa), who rents him a room at his farm. Ian is acting strangely, and Mark increasingly suspects something spooky is going on in the basement, which is crawling with flies and maggots.

Nevermind. Let’s throw a party! Mark invites all the old friends (apparently all male) over for a bash in the fields of the farm, and as the drinking, drugging and carousing progresses, Ian shows up with “a bunch of hotties.” The hotties lure the men out into the woods with their wiles to slaughter them. Our hero, of course, must try to escape.

As movies go, there’s not a lot to this one. In an amazing negative score on the Bechdel test, it takes a full 50 minutes for the first (unnamed) female character to even speak, and she says, “You’re so cute, I could just eat you all up.” Fairly literal and unsubtle, as the “hotties” turn out to be vicious, man-eating witches. Though “witch” is not the word I would use if it weren’t for the film’s title. They are pointy-toothed, prominently-veined, black-eyed screeching cannibals. More demonic than anything, I guess, if I had to put a finger on it. But taciturn “hotties” when they want to be.

Each generation’s horror tends toward certain themes. Parables of the red menace in the 50s, teen promiscuity starting in the 70s, and so on. These past couple of years I have seen a wide range of horror films, and I have been noticing a pattern where drug use is prominently featured. This film is just loaded with coke and MDMA pills. Is it to muddy the waters of disbelief and suggest that maybe, just maybe, all this isn’t real? Maybe, but it’s not much of a spoiler to say that this is not a twist this movie uses.

There is no reason to care about anyone in this film. The men are interchangeable scruffy English or Irish white dudes — except for Ian, who is possessed. The women are demons who mostly just look fetching and chant gibberish. Every single woman we see on screen is an unnamed witch. In the credits, they had titles like High Priestess (Samantha Schnitzler) and Clan Sage (Jasmin Clark), but they were entirely indistinguishable.

At one point I thought, “Wait is this a comedy?” The massacre in the woods is pretty funny. Bodies have the physical integrity of wet papier-mâché and the fluid capacity of a catsup-filled Olympic swimming pool.

This really wasn’t much fun to watch. I think it was trying for Evil Dead-style camp horror, but mostly it was listless and the gore was about the quality of a church Hell House. The video editing is choppy and nonsensical. There was some good music, though.