Sharks have had a bad wrap for decades. Obviously, Jaws started the craze, giving us one of the greatest giant animal “Monster” movies of all time. Since then we’ve been spoiled with a slew of Jaws sequels, films like Great White, The Meg, and any number of other giant sea creature films. This sub-genre also spawned the Sharknado series, one of the greatest “bad” movie franchises of all time. From Sharknado came even more bizarre, cheaply made, but riotously fun Shark films. Shark week gets longer and sillier every year. Suffice it to say, OUIJA SHARK steps into some very big shoes, or should I say, fins.

A group of teenage girls kick off their girls’ weekend with a fun, lighthearted game… with a spirit board. Jill (Steph Goodwin) found the board washed up on the beach – totally not suspicious at all – and of course nothing could go wrong playing with a Ouija board, even as the other girls mention that they “saw that movie” and express their concern. But what’s a girls’ weekend without a little suspense? After some bizarre and wild movement on the board, the girls see what looks like a shark emerge from a board. Totally weird, but totally not a big deal right? The girls go back to their drinking and partying. But a portal has been opened – and now a ghost shark is out roaming the town and hunting for prey.

Jill makes a call that night to her dad, (John Migliore), an expert in the occult. She doesn’t know exactly why, but she has a terrible feeling about the shark she saw emerge from the board earlier. He immediately begins researching, calling upon his tarot cards, and trying to find the answers to this mystery. Soon he realizes, not only is his daughter in danger, but so is the whole town — and maybe the world.

OUIJA SHARK is one of those bad movies you keep watching in spite of its badness. It’s laughable, silly, and totally ridiculous – which makes for a fun distraction, but not a great movie. As is so often the case with spirit board movies, the concept itself is so overplayed that from the very beginning of the film we find ourselves thinking, “don’t do it!”. But we get swept up in the waves of OUIJA SHARK, even as it continues to be comical instead of scary. OUIJA SHARK somehow remains enjoyable even as it suffers from some classic “bad movie” flubs. No real tangible story, nonsensical and dissatisfying “kills”, and some truly excruciating acting – all par for the course for a movie like this, but less joyful than I would have hoped.

One issue that seems to be hotly debated in the monster film community is the monster (or in this case, shark) itself. Jaws, as we all know by now, was absolutely plagued with creature production issues, which actually benefited the film in the long run. The trick so often in these films, especially if the creature itself is less than stellar, is “less is more”. In the case of OUIJA SHARK, this old trick is stomped into the ground, with repeated, outlandishly long shots of the rubber shark puppet. I was reminded of a shark bath toy I had as a kid. It wasn’t scary, and it was only funny the first few times we saw it. After that it got a little painful, but you’d better believe they didn’t let up!

OUIJA SHARK goes downhill fast in the third act, employing one of the most bizarre and nonsensical, but somehow stereotypical movie tricks I’ve ever seen. In an attempt to be topical, a seemingly last-minute addition of a tag featuring Donald Trump and a government conspiracy throws the entire film before it out the window, while also making the fun of the film seem sort of lackluster. It’s so unnecessary, and so stupidly on the nose, that it tarnishes the already questionable legacy of OUIJA SHARK.

OUIJA SHARK may not get the Shark Week extravaganza it wants, but I’m certain it’ll get the cult “bad movie” following it deserves.

3/10 sharks