There are few things that frustrate me more as a filmmaker and a film viewer than a film that can’t justify itself. I love silly fun movies with no “deeper meaning”. I also love good scary movies without a ton of substance. Not every film is going to be mind-blowing or earth shattering. But in a good scare or a hearty laugh, there is truth and power. In HALLOWED BE THY NAME, there is none of the above – no laughs, no scares, and no truth.

17 year old Devin (Collin Shephard) is trapped in a teenage hellscape. After his parents divorce, he is forced to move with his mother to her hometown, far away from home and his friends. He has to start a new school, he has to live with his mother and grandmother, and it’s basically the worst day ever. Trust me, from minute one he is as insufferable as you would think. He starts his new school immediately after moving in (because, of course), but thankfully makes a new friend, Mick (Bryan Lenis) right away. Mick introduces him to (equally insufferable) Skylar (Alissa Shaye Hale), after she makes a horrendous scene with her boyfriend Jude (Zander Krenger) in the hallway. I know what you’re thinking – this sounds like a coming of age film. Where is the horror? Unfortunately, you may be wondering that for a while. Mick and Skylar show off their dysfunctional friendship while Devin makes it very clear he’s a loner and not like them (still not sure what that means). Somehow, though, an unlikely triad friendship starts up, and after a few little (big) white lies, Skylar convinces the guys to join her at a mysterious cave on the outskirts of town that “grants wishes”.

The cave has recently claimed other victims – two young boys have gone missing – but this doesn’t phase our three misguided heroes. Of course misguided is as misguided does, and Mick steals some artifacts from the cave. As any good horror fan could imagine, this begins a series of wildly unfortunate events for our trio – which includes the sudden appearance of the ancient demon Cauchemar (Bill Barrett) – and their journey to rid themselves of the hell they have wrought.

The story of HALLOWED BE THY NAME would have more of a leg to stand on if its foundation wasn’t built on terribly stilted performances and bad stereotypes. Mick is, of course, gay (in case his earrings didn’t tell you this), and falling for Devin. Skylar is a “bad girl” haunted by her breakup with jock-like Jude, after they fooled around and she chose to abort their baby. Note I said she is haunted by the breakup, not the abortion. In fact up until the last 20 minutes of the movie you only hear about it in her sob story about how she needs to get Jude back. And then suddenly it’s treated with typical insensitivity and disturbing imagery in order to put her in a vulnerable place for the climax of the film. Devin, upon finding out about Mick’s sexuality, refers to him as “girl” and tries to laugh off Mick’s identity. Oh, and Skylar knows that Mick has a crush on Devin and chooses to sleep with Devin anyway. Typical high school behavior, maybe, but also excruciatingly politically incorrect and just generally awful.

Speaking of high school, I couldn’t help but notice (during a weirdly gratuitous make-out and implied sex scene betweeen Skylar and Devin) that these 17 year olds have more than their fair share of rather large tattoos. It’s one thing to cast adults for teens, it’s another entirely to ignore the obvious markers of adulthood. Even Devin’s terrible fake braces didn’t help. However, it isn’t the only age factor that doesn’t make sense – Devin’s mom and grandma are both of indiscriminate but too-close ages that don’t quite add up. Not to mention the stereotyped old fat Southern grandma situation… and the stereotyped voodoo witch woman situation… and the stereotyped young black priest situation. Look, if you’re going to have a film depicting an attempted exorcism, at least teach your actor playing the priest the correct way to pray.

HALLOWED BE THY NAME is a very big title for a very small film. It’s shocking to me in 2020 to see a film so backwards and so unnecessarily insensitive and, honestly, rather bigoted. Women, people of color, LGBT+… pretty much everyone gets their moment in the not so appealing spotlight, and all for a movie with less than no story to tell. I’ll be praying to forget this one for a long time.

2/10 stars