And by almost, I mean, it’s the middle of June, so we’re getting there! Listen, if they can start putting out Christmas decorations in July, I can prepare for Halloween now, OK?

To tide yourself over before the Haunt season arrives again, I thought I’d suggest horror films that will  scare the living daylights out of you, right in the comfort of your own home!

I’m going to list ten of my favorite horror films, so you can pick a few out to enjoy before the Halloween season. Now, these aren’t necessarily my TOP ten, nor are they in any order whatsoever. But they just happen to be some horror films I enjoy, and you should too!

THE SHINING

Got to start with a classic, right? The Shining was a film I saw at an age I probably shouldn’t have. In fact, I was reading Stephen King books well before I should have. So, after reading the book, I set out to watch the film. Of course, it didn’t follow the story exactly as I would have liked, but man, did it blow me away. I know King himself has a dislike of the film, but it clearly has its legions of fans. It’s dark, brooding, and has an amazing build up to a complete meltdown. It’s almost like a psychological study in going crazy. And some of the visuals…just incredible.

Also, I can never un-see this:

You’re welcome.

Choice Movie Quote: “I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.”

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

I know people are divided with this movie. But you have to remember, this was the film that essentially started the “found footage” genre that is so common today. The movie came out when the Internet was still in its very early stages, and they used that to their advantage. They promoted the film as the real deal, and there was no such thing as “Wikipedia” to say otherwise. Seriously, for months leading up to the opening, people were totally enthralled with it being a real story, and even for a few weeks after it opened, the same thing. Heck, even I bought into it! But still, even after all this time, the movie still remains one of my favorite horror films. It’s very simple and very focused. It’s brilliant for how much they do for so little. It’s a good old-fashioned horror film, and definitely one worth watching.

Who knew looking at a wall could be so scary?!

Nope. NOOOOOOPE!

Choice Movie Quote: “I kicked the map into the creek!”

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

This movie gets SUCH a bad rap. Forever known as ‘the one without Michael Myers,’ this film would have actually fared a lot better if it didn’t have the Halloween title. That’s not to say that it is a GOOD film. In fact, it’s one of those ‘it’s so bad, that is good’ type movies. Everything from the Silver Shamrock song, the creepy masks, and the terrible acting make this one a yearly watch for me. Just give it a shot. Seriously. Forget it’s part of the Halloween canon, and just enjoy it.

Also, this is amazing. How can you not love this?

Choice Movie Quote: “It’s almost time, kids. The clock is ticking.”

FREDDY VS JASON

I had to include these two horror icons on the list, but I couldn’t pick between their own films, so I figured why not pick the one where they both appear? I’m frankly amazed that this movie got made to begin with. I mean, it’s a genius idea: pit two of horrors biggest names against each other? That’s basically a machine that prints its own money. The film did an OK job of respecting both franchises, and tied them together, sort of, to make it work. But just something about the two of them squaring off and beating the hell out of each other really gets me. Plus, there are some pretty funny lines in there. Also, it was either this one or Jason X (and man, do I love me some Jason X).

Also, we almost got this because of it:

Instead, they made it a comic book.

Choice Movie Quote: “Got your nose!”

LEPRECHAUN: BACK 2 THA HOOD

Just stop for a second, and think how insane it is that we got a movie about a killer leprechaun to begin with. And then think about how it lasted for 3 films, the first of which starred a very young Jennifer Anniston, before they said “You know what would be great? If he was in space!” And then, how do you one up a leprechaun in space? You bring him to the ‘Hood, of course. And since he was so good in the hood, you bring him back there AGAIN. I mean, come on, that is movie making magic! But really, this movie is better than it has any right to be, especially for one about a killer leprechaun in the hood. Just watch it. Trust me.

Where else can you see something as brilliant as this?

I can’t even.

Choice Movie Quote: “What’s up, ninjas?”

V/H/S/2

While the first one was pretty meh, V/H/S 2 blew it out of the water. Taking the “found footage” motif and running with it, the film centers around people coming across these random tapes and watching them. And each one is more insane than the last. I seriously can’t even pick a favorite segment here, but it’s like 5 movies in one. Watch it. You won’t be sorry.

Also, Zombie Go-Pro.

Amazing.

Choice Movie Quote: “It’s just my dead uncle. I know how to get rid of him.”

EVIL DEAD 2

While my favorite of the trilogy will always be Army of Darkness, Evil Dead 2 is my favorite of the horror-based ones. Combining some good old fashioned slapstick humor with some pretty amazing horror effects is a brilliant choice for this movie. The age old tale of ‘boy goes to cabin in the woods with girlfriend, boy finds ancient book, boy accidently releases ancient demons, boy has to dismember his girlfriend with a chainsaw’ is on full display here. It furthers the story of Evil Dead even further and has a truly insane ending. Bruce Campbell is a god, folks. No doubt about it.

I’ll swallow your soul!

Choice Movie Quote: “Someone’s in my fruit cellar! Someone with a fresh soooul!”

THE CONJURING

It takes a lot to scare me these days, but The Conjuring legitimately creeped me out. I know it’s a highly fictionalized tale of the Warrens and their investigations, but man, did they ever do an amazing job with the film. It was very atmospheric and very, very well done. I will never want to visit a basement to talk to a ghost, ever, after this one. It’s a shame the prequel was terrible.

NOOOOOOOOPE

Choice Movie Quote: “Want to play a game of hide and clap?”

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

Come on. Do I really need to explain this one to you? Probably the best horror-comedy in years. YEARS.

You’ve got some red on you.

Choice Movie Quote: “Don’t forget to kill Philip!”

POLTERGEIST

A lot of people tell me that Poltergeist was their introduction to horror films as a child, which I always found weird, since I started off with A Nightmare on Elm Street. Either way, this ‘main stream’ horror film scared an entire generation of kids (especially of clowns), and made tons of parents wary of the TV set. It’s a good one for the whole family to enjoy together!

Choice Movie Quote: “This house is clean.”

HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!