Heartland of Darkness tells the story of Paul (Dino Tripodis), who moves to the small town of Coppertown to take over the local paper. Soon a series of grisly murders convince him and his head reporter Shannon (Shanna Thomas) that something dark is working in the town. Something … Satanic.

This was a lost film. As in, lost in a chest at the bottom of the Hudson river. Here it is in glorious Blu-Ray, first time mass released at all, ever, anywhere, and now you can see it with all the scratches and flaws, “special” effects on display in full light of day. Was that sign drawn in marker? Yes, most likely. Was Paul’s hair given random gray patches with white grease paint? That’s what it looks like.  Wait, was that a steak knife? You bet. And that’s just the first 5 minutes

This feels unfinished, which is reasonable, as it sort of is. It reminds me of some of the modern one-person productions with cell phone quality, only this was mostly shot on video tape in the early 90s. Director Eric Swelstad abandoned it before it got distribution, so it was lost for nearly 40 years before being picked up by Visual Vengeance (which incidentally also carries a film called “L.A. AIDS Jabber”).

The main point of interest for die-hard horror fans is going to be the vampish Julia, played by 1980’s schlock horror staple Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Demons, Silent Night Deadly Night, Graduation Day). While she’s probably the only recognizable name associated with this film, she only appears briefly. Mostly topless.

This is a Satanic Panic film. Timely when it was made, and with the panic starting to return, I guess it’s timely again. Reverend Donovan (Nick Baldasare) is running a Satanic cult out of his church, and it reaches almost everyone in the town as either a member or a victim. The local sheriff begins to suspect Paul is somehow connected to the murders, and is generally a testosterone-fueled blowhard. But fair enough, so is Paul.

The sound is pretty bad. A lot of room hiss, and obvious voice overs. The effects are laughable. Many of the characters have an inverted cross branded on their arm, made of scar wax applied with a spatula. The message is preachy and cringe-worthy, as if Dark Dungeons was remade into a B-grade slasher film. The Satanists! They’re everywhere! Murdering babies! These atheists must turn to God to protect the town!

Feh.

It was dangerous nonsense in the 1980s and 1990s, and I’ve been hearing it coming back in some of the dangerous rhetoric of certain unhinged-but-loud individuals. People’s lives were ruined (including in my own small town back in the day). People were even killed over it. And conspiracy theories are back on the menu.  This is not to say I think people will be getting ideas from an old horror flick, but it’s part and parcel with a dangerous movement.

The new release comes with director commentary, behind-the-scenes extras, and I really wonder if it’s one of those fun, self-aware things where everyone knows what they’re creating and have a sense of humor about it, or a self-serious tirade about the art of the art and the message of the message.

It’s not exactly an uncovered classic, but I guess it’s fun in its own way, if you like that sort of thing.

3 out of 10 Bad Scar Effects