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Circle circle, dot dot. Now you’ve got your cooties shot.

Simply put: Cooties is the most fun I’ve had watching a comedic horror movie in a while, and you should watch this very soon. You’ll thank me when you do.

Elijah Wood plays Clint, a substitute teacher who still lives with mom and is headed to his first day at Fort Chicken Elementary School (hehehe) where he will soon be battling zombie kids who ate infected chicken nuggets and are out for blood.

 

Do you really need to read any more than that?

How about this: the other adults are Rainn Wilson (The Office), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock), Alison Pill (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World), Leigh Wannell (Insidious, also co-writer of this movie) and Jorge Garcia (LOST).  Everybody does a terrific job and seems to be having a great time with all the bloody shenanigans (even though the special effects are over-the-top and a tad cartoonish, yeah, there is some major carnage going on).

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If you’re not interested in watching gore-splattered zombie kids play jump rope with someone’s lower intestine you may want to steer clear of Cooties, as it might not be your cup of tea; this thing is as un-PC as it can possibly get, what with the bashing in of zombie kids’ heads, rough language, and drug use. It definitely earns its R rating, and it wears that proudly.

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As things go from bad to worse, and the teachers use whatever is handy to barricade themselves in and defend against the kids, there are some genuine laugh-out-loud moments that kind of took me by surprise (I’m purposefully trying not to spoil anything). There are a few jokes that fall flat, and some scenes where not much happens, but these relatively few minuses do not detract at all from the thousand or so pluses that overwhelmingly push this movie into the “must-see” category.

Jonathon Milott and Cary Murnion have done a terrific job with Cooties (which, amazingly, is the first movie they’ve ever directed, according to IMDB) lead all the action with a sure hand, an eagle eye for details, and a very well-honed sense of timing. The ending is really the only part that let me down a bit (in the extras section there was an alternate ending that I liked a whole lot more), but if the last 3 minutes of a movie is the only thing I can really criticize, well, let me just say I wish I was that disappointed a whole lot more.   I am really looking forward to Milott’s and Murnion’s next project (which looks to be Bushwick, starring Dave Bautista).

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One interesting side note: I learned (thank you again, extras!) that Cooties was originally supposed to be a straight horror film until Leigh Wannell rewrote the original script and turned it into a comedy. I think that was a very wise choice, and I am super happy they went that direction. It worked out very well.

Uncle Mike sez you should really check this out.

 

Baskin (2015)
RATING: R  
Cooties (2015 Movie – Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson) – Official Trailer
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Runtime: 1 hr. 28 mins.
Directed By: Jonathan MilottCary Murnion
Written By: Leigh WhannellIan BrennanJosh C. Waller
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About the Author

Mike Hansen has worked as a teacher, a writer, an actor, and a haunt monster, and has been a horror fan ever since he was a young child. Sinister Seymour is his personal savior, and he swears by the undulating tentacles of Lord Cthulhu that he will reach the end of his Netflix list. Someday.