Alliances are formed and reformed, estranged characters are brought back into the embrace of loved ones, bold moves are made, and the vampire school kids are still jerks.

Episode 10: “She Gets Revenge”

If you didn’t come to SPOILERS then you can go home.

Among others, an elderly couple comes to the Cortez. They seem happy and in love, looking at each other with great affection. Liz shows them to their room, they lovingly count to three, and then adoringly shoot each other in the head and splatter each other’s brains all over the walls. Later, Iris complains about the mess while Liz speaks enviously of the couple, and is looking forward to the peace they have found. Iris and Liz make a pact to help each other commit suicide. They are both done with life. Well, Liz isn’t quite done yet. She still has unfinished business: she wants to make amends with her son.

Mrs. Evers does a nice and calls Liz’s son for her to invite him to the Cortez. As a thank you, Liz gives her some laundry detergent.

John Lowe adds to his collection of Ten Commendments body parts trophies, this time from a pathetic tiny cult group. I think he’s only got one empty trophy case left to fill.

Donovan visits Valentino, while at the same time V’s wife Natacha visits the Countess. It seems the movie star idols have conspired to do away with the Countess and her pretty boyfriend: Natacha pulls a knife on the Countess while the two of them are seducing each other in bed, and Valentino pulls out a comically huge scimitar on Donovan. In an echo of Indiana Jones, the Countess and Donovan both pull out guns and blow the two lovers away.

And neither of them knows the other did it.

Wearing ridiculous fetish headgear, March has placed the contractor who repaired the steel wall into a weird metal contraption and burns him to death. No witnesses, eh? John comes in and wants to know where his wife is. March promises to bring Alex to John so they can talk.

And he does. And they do. John is very angry at her for keeping their son Holden all to herself and not telling him about it.

Because the Countess knows everything (heh heh) she warns Alex to take care of the vampire-schoolkids-killing-everyone-in-town problem, or she herself will be the next to die.

A handsome young man comes into the Cortez bar and shares a drink and a nice conversation with Liz. It’s pretty obvious that this is her son, and she seems very proud of him, but she still doesn’t let him know who she really is.

John and Alex go out to look for the kids, and they find one. A very sick one. The original measles infection has spread to her and she is not long for this world. As the other kids look on, she dies. Alex tries to revive her, but, alas, she’s gone.

The Countess is being interviewed by the police about her missing newlywed husband when Drake himself comes waltzing into the room. The Countess is a little surprised but tries to smile as the police leave. Drake is pissed about being killed, but snidely reminds her that his fortune goes to his son, not her. She counters that she is his son’s guardian now, and in control of his finances.

Alex brings all the kids into the hotel, into the elevator, and up to the room with the steel doors. She invites them in, implying they’ll be safe in there. They dubiously enter and John slams the door on them. Ramona comes around the corner and looks at them hungrily: “I smell appetizers.”

Alex and John have some sexy time in bed, with renewed passion and vigor. She likes the new John (does she know all about him yet? I don’t think she’d care) and is interested in getting the family back together.

After Alex leaves, Sally shows up to tease, berate, and seduce John. John starts to succumb to her charms, but ultimately sends her away. She screams at him as a demon appears over her shoulder.

Liz enjoys another nice conversation with her son at the bar, and he tells her that he has found a renewed purpose with his family, and they are moving to Colorado. And that there’s room in his life for his dad. Liz is touched. Her son is a cool guy.

Donovan has dinner with the Countess, and they hint and tiptoe around what they’ve both done until Donovan finally, sadistically, admits to killing Valentino. The Countess is devastated. Oh, boo hoo.

Liz is having second thoughts about killing herself, now that her son completely accepts and forgives her. Iris is miffed at first, but Liz convinces her to really let go and to hell with the details. First order of business: kill You-Know-Who.

Alex takes John to Holden, and the family is reunited once again (except for the sister, I guess–whatever happened to her?). They walk out of the hotel, but Sally yells at them to stop. She threatens them, but the three of them leave anyway.

Donovan and the Countess have it out, but the Countess is surprised by what Donovan really wants: he wants her to kill him. He is so in love with her, he knows that the only way she can really reciprocate is for her to take his life. She always kills people she loved.

Before that can happen we are suddenly in a Tarantino film as Liz and Iris break into the penthouse in slow motion and start shooting and shooting and shooting.

SMASH CUT TO BLACK.

Nice. After spinning their proverbial wheels a few times the last couple episodes, this episode built and built naturally, tying up some glaring loose ends (sure, while ignoring others for now), until a fantastic cliffhanger that left me dangling and impatient for more.

What?? Not until January 6th?? Ugh!

See you then, kiddies!