Well, December 5th has passed. Take a look around, are your children still here? If so, then their tantrums haven’t deemed them awful enough for Krampus to take them. I’m sure that you thought the Three Mile Island meltdown in Target over a candy bar was more than enough reason for Krampus to give your kid a couple lashes with a birch stick then hurl them down to the underworld (even if just for a moment). But alas, it wasn’t. It’s still mid-December and there are so many more conniption fits to be had. Don’t worry though, I have several more examples of scary folklore to hold over your child’s head.

If there’s one thing about Halloween and the Holiday season has taught me, it is that those Pagans sure knew how to have fun! Masks, parties, decorations, frightening images of characters that are half-man, half-beasts. That has “fun times” written all over it!

Krampus

In the states, Krampus has been gaining popularity with the aid of movies and social media. In various parts of Europe stories warning about the half-goat, half-man who punishes bad kids have been told for centuries. The Germans like to kick off Christmas time early in December at which time St. Nicholas rolls into town with his much more demonic counterpart, Krampus. Some kids get treats…others get something far more sinister.

Zwarte Piet and Sinterklaas

Not too far away, in the land of wooden shoes, tulips and windmills, the Dutch have their own evil sidekick. Zwarte Piet rides along with Sinterklaas. There are many different versions of how he came to be, who he really is and what his full job description contains. All I know is that creepy Piet punishes bad kids, stuffs them in bags and takes them to Spain. Which doesn’t sound all that bad because I’ve always wanted to go to Spain, just not in some bag filled with wicked children. I have a friend who is Dutch and was celebrating the holidays at the local Dutch club when he was a child. Sinterklass rode in on his trademark HUGE horse, very majestic, while the children were in awe. There stood Zwarte Piet, as described by my friend Mark as “the Sancho Panza to Klaus’s Don Quixote.” All of the sudden the horse keels over and dies. The children are hysterical but the Dutch never let something like that stop them. They covered the horse with a tarp and carried on. If the thought of a little man beating you and kidnapping you wasn’t terrifying enough, the Dutch kids that year had much more to haunt their dreams.

Perchta

Fuzzy K-man and little Piet are nothing compared to Perchta in Bavaria and Austria. Perchta, aka Berchta aka Bertha, would make her appearance during the twelve days of Christmas. Usually on Epiphany, she would check upon the children of the household and make sure they have done their chores for the year. If it wasn’t to her satisfaction then she would slit them open and stuff their bodies with straw and rocks. Nothing says, “Merry Christmas” like a hard R rated horror/gore flick intended for children. Yikes, I’m going to stay away from Austria for the next year until I can keep a cleaner house, I might suggest the same to my kids as well.

Belsnickel

Belsnickel is no ones side kick. He travels alone, looking like a hobo, and carrying a switch for naughty children. In his pockets he keeps candy for the good little girls and boys. Like Krampus, he comes into town with bells ringing and chains rattling around the Feast of St. Nicholas. As people immigrated from Germany and surrounding regions to the United States (and parts of Canada), they brought this tradition with them. He is lesser known and celebrated than Krampus but scary nonetheless.

As much as people say that Americans are too politically correct, Europeans have begun to soften the images of these characters. Opting to make chocolate horns as treats for the kiddos from Krampus. Illustrating greeting cards with Krampus looking like a deranged but lovable cherub. Depicting Zwarte Piet as gold instead of black (a rather big to-do in the Netherlands as people are offended on both sides) and having him distribute only the sweets for children. Sorry Perchta, there’s no one on your side trying to paint you in a more luxurious light. You are still the Goddess in white robes who viciously maims and murders kids.

Commercialization is making its mark on these dark figures. On one hand it’s the media and marketing that gets these tails of the dark side of winter celebrations out into the mainstream. Where ultimately, we can share them with our kids to use as back up when they don’t do their homework or their room remains a disaster. But the major downfall is that they are losing their meaning. The very core of their existence is to bring balance to that fat, jolly elf who lavishes children with gifts under the tree and in their stockings.

I love Santa Claus and what he stands for. The magic of Christmas has never been lost on me and is even more magical as I watch it through my children’s eyes. But I also love the idea that there is a little more at stake than your name ending up on the naughty list. Maybe not slitting your belly open and stuffing you with straw; perhaps just a little word of warning that when you hear bells it may not always be Santa with his eight tiny reindeer on your roof.

Sleep tight kids.

*side note: it is customary to leave schnapps for Krampus. It sure beats the milk and cookies Saint Nick gets!*