Stop what you are doing and make plans to visit Savage House in San Diego’s Mission Valley right now.
Okay, got your tickets? Okay, good. Now on to the review.
Nestled in the far corner of a busy, Target parking lot is probably one of the most wonderful haunts you will experience this season. Savage House tells the story of a bonkers bunch of country bumpkins bent on cultivating and harvesting human flesh for their tasty vittles.
The experience begins with a clever device that sets up the premise. Entering the maze, we encounter a news van. A man approaches us, news camera mounted on his shoulder, and stops us in our tracks. He warns us that the situation is a little out of control up ahead and asks us to wait there while they shoot a live feed for the news station.
The stereotypical, blonde anchor on the screens explains that a hive of aberrant red neck cannibals has been discovered. They are murderous and on the hunt for more meat. We are urged by maze convention to proceed and we find the blonde anchor, face down, before we make a sharp right into the Savage House.
Navigating through the house, shades of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1,000 Corpses and The Hills Have Eyes fill the intimate country setting. The difference is that where those properties played straight gritty horror, Savage House weaves a goofy humor throughout that allows the actors some leeway. You won’t know whether to laugh or run in terror as these characters eye you up and down, wondering what you are doing, unchained, in their house.
The storyline and direction are strong, but it must be said that the cast here really sells it. In each and every room of the maze, these nutty neanderthals jut and cavort around the rooms, verbally harassing, and scaring the pants off of visitors. In particular, the banjo-plucking yokel wandering the premises was hysterically funny. Other stand-outs were the girls in the nursery, the couple in the kitchen, the man at the clogged toilet, the girls in the knick-knack room, the chainsaw guys… well, okay, wait. They were all pretty damned good. Passionate for the scares and wanting to deliver a great time.
The maze isn’t the only thing there, however. There is also a sprawling Horror Museum filled with actual props and replicas from horror notables including The Walking Dead, 28 Days Later, Death Proof, Saw, A Nightmare on Elm Street and more. In the museum there were also costumed actors walking around, ready for photo ops and just having fun with guests.
To its detriment, Savage House is located in a dark corner of the Target parking lot at the Westfield Valley Mall. If you aren’t really keeping your eyes peeled, you will miss its stand alone structure of black walls until you are right up on it. Trust us though, it is there, and it is worth the drive and worth every penny. These are scares from the heart. These are scares from a talented group of horror fans that want nothing more than to make you scream with delight.
This is the one maze to discover this year. Go see Savage House now.
