Let me start off with a disclaimer: I HATE IKEA.

There. I said it.

Something about the place just fills me with dread. I’m not entirely sure what it is. I didn’t have any bad experiences there as a child, I wasn’t haunted by dreams of getting lost amongst its labyrinthine aisles. I just don’t like it.

Last year, when my fiancé MADE me go with her to purchase furniture for our new place, I lasted all of 10 minutes before the deep-set anxiety set in and I had a full blown panic attack. I was literally sweating like a pig, my heart hammering in my chest, muttering “You need to get me out of here” over and over again to her before she finally realized that I WASN’T joking. She led me out, because my vision was darkening at the corners and I couldn’t even stand up straight, sitting me by the exit of the store while she continued to shop.

That place is like the secret, 10th circle of Hell. Dante just forgot to write about it.

I’m not the only one that harbors a dislike for the store, though. So, when I heard about Grady Hendrix’s Horrorstor, I knew I had to check it out for myself.

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Set in an Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio, strange things are happening. Every morning, the store employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. The cameras show nothing at all, and the managers are panicking. Three of the store employees volunteer (well, kind of) to stay over-night, from dusk till dawn, to see if they can figure out just what the heck is happening.

It’s clear that Hendrix based the Orsk store off of IKEA. Heck, even the design of the book itself alone, if not found nestled in the FICTION section, might confuse some shoppers as being a real IKEA catalogue, complete with Orsk product illustrations, a home delivery order form, and a map of the store’s labyrinthine showroom.

The story itself is a bit light, and sometimes rushed, but enjoyable. It’s almost like a Scooby Doo episode, but without the dog: mysterious noises, hauntings, and a secret past are revealed in an almost cartoonish fashion.

The book also does a great job of finding a good balance between horror and comedy. There were a few laugh out loud moments for me, like during a séance, when someone pretends to be possessed by a customer from hell and says “I want . . . to speak . . . to your manager.”

If nothing else, the book gave me another reason to never set foot inside IKEA again. The similarities are way too close, and it’s entirely possible that my local store used to be the location of a 19th century prison that now hosts malevolent spirits.

If you’re looking for a light, breezy read, I definitely recommend Horrorstör. You’re not going to get Stephen King-level frights, but you’ll definitely be entertained.

About the Author

Jeff Heimbuch writes. A lot. On a variety of things and in different mediums. He also created the fiction podcasts LIGHT HOUSE and RETURN HOME (of which you can find both on all podcasting platforms), loves all things horror, works in social media, and is probably writing something right now. You can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok at @jeffheimbuch.